Happy Mother's Day! Perfected Parenthood....

More thoughts and memories of mom today. I tried to avoid Mother's Day this year since my mom passed so recently, but it was unavoidable. Messages were everywhere. Mother's Day wishes have been coming from all directions and sources. Mother's Day is a big deal! We all have mothers of one sort or another. And in some way or variety of ways, we have been like a mother at one time or another to someone, if only in a small way for a little while. Even men act in mothering ways at times.

What do we think of as mothering? Nurturing, comforting, hugging, warming, kissing, cooing, emotional support, feeding, teaching, discipline, direction, guidance, nursing, healing, bandaging wounds. Some mothers have other characteristics: abandoning, rejecting, scolding, criticizing, judging, denying, bullying. Some traits are subtle. A few award winning. Others overwhelming, smothering, suffocating, destructive or murderous.

All of us are mothers in one way or another at one time or other. None are perfect. Except one! My God is a good mother, the most perfect of all! My God provides all my needs at all levels, in the most perfect ways, usually in surprising ways if I let God be God and surrender to the "parenting". God always knows more than I do, before I could ever discover even a part. God knows exactly the best way to give me what I need, direct and guide me where and when and what to do for my best and the best good of others. God can teach me what I need to know when I need it. God also disciplines and corrects, but in merciful and gentle ways if I respond with a desire to listen and do the best I can.

God can heal any wound and love unconditionally in abundant, lavish ways. And if I ask for the wisdom and ways to be, as best I can, a "mother" to others, God can do that too! I will never be perfect, but God is perfecting the motherhood in all of us that surrender to the parenting of God!

A "Silver Tsunami" is coming!!!

Martha Stewart: The Other Health Care Crisis -- America's Elderly

Above is a link to an article on caring for an elderly parent, something which has taken a lot of my time and energy the past 18 months. Since Thanksgiving, the care demands have increased, just after I started this blog! I was hoping to post daily, but many days I am going until 8:30-9 pm without stopping or eating since breakfast, and still more to do! I am learning ways to set boundaries, as I have mentioned in previous posts, and moving towards more balance in my life. I have found it is a wonderful opportunity to grow in love, patience, trust and acceptance! I am hoping the situation will improve, as I make these new boundaries, and turn things over sooner to a higher power, through prayer, waiting, watching and listening to the movements of the Spirit! Being disabled, this has been a difficult challenge, but I am enjoying so much drawing on the wisdom, power, provision, favor and presence of God! I apologize to my readers for not posting more regularly! Please be patient with me! I have so much I want to share from my journey and welcome your comments and sharings too! Love, Dee

Securing the boundaries!

Working on my boundaries big time! Finding those places in my boundaries that need strengthening and fixing them where broken; where someone has broken through, or I have gradually leaned and bent the boundary to keep someone happy, or avoid their angry reaction to not getting what they want the way they want it! Too much energy is spent trying to make things work out, with all parties getting what they want! I need those strong boundaries for my health: physically, emotionally and spiritually. I need time and energy for a balanced life! Not having the appropriate boundaries is like leaving a gate open for energy to escape or be drained off, or for something toxic to come into my be-ing! No is a complete sentence! Not answering the phone is an answer, even after repeated calls. Not responding to an email is a response even if a response is demanded. Doing what I need to do to take care of my needs is OK no matter what, as long as I do not intentionally hurt anyone else doing it. Accepting how others respond to me is a must. Not everyone will like me anyway. Some may even dislike me. But I can love myself and know if I need to set boundaries to take care of myself, I am still a good person, a great friend, a generous volunteer and a loving, caring daughter, no matter the feedback I get to the contrary, directly or indirectly. Love and take care of your self! When we do, we are more able to love and take care of others! Without resentment or regret! Fondly, Dee

Walking the love walk in storms!

Things get tough long enough and I can get short-tempered! I am getting lots of opportunities to learn to act in love even when life is really difficult with "storms" and I am having to deal with aggravating situations! I have been living with stress for much of my life. Originally it came from family members, but I learned to live in stress and actually thrived in it for a while! I was so good with stress I got promoted and quickly rose to the top. Ultimately, my body broke down, being helped by a virus just being discovered this past year. I ended up being disabled which comes with its own stress, physically and financially. Over the years, I learned to live with stress a different way -- learning boundaries, balance and having a close relationship with God. It really has turned out to be a gift to me and many others on my path. Even with boundaries, balance and God, things can get really difficult! I have been dealing with a new difficult situation for 18 months, the ongoing care of an elderly parent. I have cut out almost everything else in order to "manage" my stress. But now I'm finding there are lots of ways of getting added stress besides too many activities. When too many things go wrong, and mistakes are made, it adds stress. When I feel my frustration rise, I talk to God, announcing my limits, as if God did not know. I was feeling I just couldn't take it anymore. Two days without blogging and no end in sight to more difficulties. I prayed (a lot) last night. I woke up and turned on my favorite show, Joyce Meyers, while doing my morning stretches. She was talking about walking in love. As I listened my heart softened and I felt that inner guidance: "this message is for you". I listened a little more closely. She said when things get difficult, it is no reason to step out of our love walk. It is an opportunity to grow a little more into the person we want to be, the person God created us to be. It is a way to learn how to have more joy and peace in our lives. Oh, well! I realized she was right on. I had been dealing with several other parties not doing things right: pharmacists, insurance representatives, assisted living managers, transport coordinators, doctor's office staff, website services - the list goes on. I was getting aggravated by the lack of performance and repeated mistakes and my voice reflected it more each day. I listened to Joyce and realized I did not want to respond to anyone out of my anger, even if a subtle tone of anger in my voice or a slightly sarcastic remark. I learned a long time ago that things go much better without anger and that everyone is trying to do their best with their situation. Anyway, onward and upward. I dealt with 3 more such situations today and I remembered to walk in love! It made me feel better. I was more happy. I had more peace. I know it helped each of the situations get resolved and God was smiling!! Spread some love today, even if the "weather" gets stormy! That is when people need it the most, and that includes you! Love, Dee