Decisions, decisions!!!!

I sometimes hate decisions! I love having options and the freedom to choose. But when there are risks or possible negative consequences, it is very hard for me to decide which alternative to take. I just really hate risks - the risk of failure; the risk of loss or being hurt; the risk of hurting or disappointing someone else. Sometimes there are several or all three kinds of risks involved. Then it really gets difficult. I learned early on to take the 'safest' route, which meant not upsetting anyone else. My life depended on it! I nearly died more than once, and even was clinically dead for a short time, because of the behavior of others. I thought I could keep myself safe by pleasing others. It was an illusion; an illusion that kept me sane and feeling safe. Otherwise, I could not have withstood the feelings of terror, if I knew I really had no control over my safety. But it did not really keep me safe. In the long run, over many years, this habit of pleasing others to my own detriment, led me to serious health problems and long term disability. I had gained the approval, recognition and even financial reward of pleasing others, but I nearly lost my life. I have worked for many years to let go of the fears, to seek and follow God's Will, to try to take care of myself, to discern and live in the truth, to understand my needs and weigh them against the needs of others. I am much better at making decisions that are best for all concerned. But I still have problems when my needs demand that I not meet the needs of another, or even risk hurting them or losing their affection, especially if they mean a lot to me. It is a very hard place to go against the strong desires of others who cannot understand my position or situation. Ultimately, I am responsible for myself. If I do something that causes too much harm to myself, I am not able to carry on or be there for anyone else, and I can cause more harm than good. Today I had to make one of those choices. I needed to rest and could not be there for someone else. I knew the consequences of not resting would affect my health and prevent me from living my life and meeting my responsibilities. I knew that some would not understand, and would even shun me, or at least make me the subject of gossip. But I am learning that my friends understand and love me. God loves me. And we know the truth. I can only make decisions in line with the truth, consistent with who I am and who God wants me to be. The truth will set me free! Free to be who I was meant to be in this world, which is good. And I can even love those others who do not understand, because they are only human, and I might feel the same way in their place, not knowing or possibly understanding the whole truth! Decide for yourselves! Decide for the truth! Decide for the good of all, including yourself! May the truth be yours to know and to set you free! Fondly, Dee

Moving on --- onwards & upwards!

This is a picture of the Great Wall of China from the Kamuka Worldwide travel website. Sometimes my life seems like the view in this picture: striving on an upward climb towards a higher place, a place with more spectacular views, a place where I can see more of what lies ahead and a different perspective of where I have already been. I see people who seem to be ahead of me on the path and long for their location or just some information from their viewpoint. I look behind and see others and wonder what they are thinking of where I am. Do they need my help to get where I am? Are they catching up with me and will overtake my progress, getting ahead of me? Am I proceeding faster than they? Can I enjoy the view from where I am? I especially love the fellow traveler alongside while sharing our views and helping each other see things differently, or things we may have missed along the way, or like an old allegory of life, sharing each of our parts of perception to more fully perceive and better understand the truth of the entire reality! The New Year, when time seems to stop for a moment before beginning again, is an opportunity to feel as if I have somehow "finished" a significant segment of my journey, stopping to reflect, celebrate and enjoy, giving me the strength, new resolve, renewed energy and exciting hope for the journey ahead. God bless your journey this new decade with joy and peace, and with fellow travelers at your side along the way that you can share, enjoy and to help you more fully perceive and better understand the paths of your life! Love, Dee

Believing is truly Seeing

They say: "Seeing is believing." Actually, believing helps us to see more clearly. What we see is not always what it appears to us, depending on our viewpoint. In the pictures, one vertical line appears to be longer than the other, but both are the same size. If someone is late for a flight that crashes and kills all passengers, we would call that a blessing for that person. In the moment of seeing the plane take off without us, we might not have that conclusion and be upset enough to make us afraid, sad, angry, or even physically ill. Believing that we had to be on that plane to be happy, prosperous or successful would not be believing in the "truth", a truth we could not have known. But there is a higher power that knows the truth of all things at all times. Believing in that can provide a new view, a perception that we can be open to see in truth that there are other possibilities than what we currently know, see, want or expect. What we believe does effect what we see and how we experience it. What do you believe? Let's talk some more..... , Dee