The Lord is my shepherd!

The Lord is my Shepherd” Part 1

Day 2 of 2015, I am keeping my commitment to write.  I write best when not so tired, so I need to add a note to my blog postings that not all daily journal entries will be posted on my blog. I am not yet in a rythym of writing daily and, as I am learning with all goals, I need to schedule the time to do things I want to accomplish, because other distractions and activities that seem more important otherwise take priority. As a result, I will never get to those seemingly less important projects that come from our God-given visions of life purposes, but instead, I will focus on my own agendas and the perceived agendas of the world and people around us who seem to want or think something else is preferred or the answer. 

I am finding what I sometimes think are real and absolute threats or demands, are really distractions from my path and expectations of myself, a person or organization or ‘rule’ I perceive cannot be missed or broken,  otherwise causing loss or rejection, or ultimate abandonment. This is an illusion from surrounding myself with wrong beliefs and perceptions based on those beliefs. I ignore any evidence to the contrary. If I do not trust other beliefs, I cannot experience the truth working in my life.

These past few years my health problems have finally convinced me that other than God, I am the only one responsible for taking care of me and following the path God tries to show me.  I am also learning that God is always faithful and never lets us down. If I follow the guidance in my spirit as led by God, He provides all I need and keeps my path clearer from obstacles and more direct to His destinations, including meeting the worldly demands that cannot be ignored. God is like a good shepherd.

In the end, when I am down and out and all my chips run out, and I am not able to respond to others’ demands and expectations, I am left seemingly alone to fend for myself. Thank God He is always there to pick up the pieces and provide whatever is needed, even if I suffer some serious loss or severe pain as a result.  My losses are never the fault of others but my own errors in not discerning my path as directed by God and not developing boundaries to keep me on that path, a kind of fence to keep me from wandering off, like a lamb who eats their way off a cliff. That is why lambs need shepherds to keep them on the path. The Lord is my good shepherd if I trust in Him and follow. Stay tuned for more.

Balancing Act!

Trying to keep all the balls in the air and dropped one yesterday - did not get to post to my blog! I feel like the guy on the right - I have too many things I am trying to stabilize in my life and nearly ending up losing my balance! I am so much better at balance than I used to be, but lately I am feeling challenged! I think it is one of my growing edges recently! When my life was less dimensional, I was a workaholic, spending 70-80 hours a week on my career, the rest with spouse and little time for anything else. I ended up very sick, permanently disabled and ultimately alone! Today I have learned to set some goals for various areas of my life - God, self, friends, vocation, home management, community, hobbies, creativity and just plain fun! Of course self includes self care, self awareness activities and self-with-self time! Everything seemed to be going well, even my health had improved to the best it had been in many years, and I was on my way to discovering a new vocation. When, blam, I hit a wall! Ouch! That hurt! I thought I was walking through a door and I hit concrete! God had other plans! Then, blam, a large object fell on me out of the blue! Ouch!!!! Now that really hurt!!!! My mom nearly died and I had to take over her care! A year or so and I thought I would be back on my feet! Oops! I slipped! Too much on my plate and I lost my footing! I kept going at the same pace and Ow! I fell! My health deteriorated from being the best it had been to being the worst it had been in several years! I was nearly hospitalized in September and October! Whew! That was close! Don't want to go there again! Gotta' be careful! I am still learning to keep my pace and keep my balance! Got to let go of some things, especially the ones that are not urgent and are wearing me down! We know what those are! Deep inside a small voice tells us "you don't need to be doing this now!" I pray for things to get better - and they get worse! I get grumpy and short tempered - a sure sign I am out of balance and going against God's Will. When things are tough and I pray for God's will, I am learning that the things I am supposed to be doing get easier and I find support in inexplicable ways! The things I am not supposed to be doing just get harder and the people involved get almost abusive (a sure sign of loss of favor and moving into darkness!!!). I want to walk in the light - follow where the Spirit is leading and stay in balance! God show me your will, show me your way, shine your light on my path and teach me to walk more closely with you!!!!! Keep me in balance! Watch your step, mind your footing, observe your pace, listen to the small voice within, don't slip and fall! Fondly , Dee