Balancing Act!

Trying to keep all the balls in the air and dropped one yesterday - did not get to post to my blog! I feel like the guy on the right - I have too many things I am trying to stabilize in my life and nearly ending up losing my balance! I am so much better at balance than I used to be, but lately I am feeling challenged! I think it is one of my growing edges recently! When my life was less dimensional, I was a workaholic, spending 70-80 hours a week on my career, the rest with spouse and little time for anything else. I ended up very sick, permanently disabled and ultimately alone! Today I have learned to set some goals for various areas of my life - God, self, friends, vocation, home management, community, hobbies, creativity and just plain fun! Of course self includes self care, self awareness activities and self-with-self time! Everything seemed to be going well, even my health had improved to the best it had been in many years, and I was on my way to discovering a new vocation. When, blam, I hit a wall! Ouch! That hurt! I thought I was walking through a door and I hit concrete! God had other plans! Then, blam, a large object fell on me out of the blue! Ouch!!!! Now that really hurt!!!! My mom nearly died and I had to take over her care! A year or so and I thought I would be back on my feet! Oops! I slipped! Too much on my plate and I lost my footing! I kept going at the same pace and Ow! I fell! My health deteriorated from being the best it had been to being the worst it had been in several years! I was nearly hospitalized in September and October! Whew! That was close! Don't want to go there again! Gotta' be careful! I am still learning to keep my pace and keep my balance! Got to let go of some things, especially the ones that are not urgent and are wearing me down! We know what those are! Deep inside a small voice tells us "you don't need to be doing this now!" I pray for things to get better - and they get worse! I get grumpy and short tempered - a sure sign I am out of balance and going against God's Will. When things are tough and I pray for God's will, I am learning that the things I am supposed to be doing get easier and I find support in inexplicable ways! The things I am not supposed to be doing just get harder and the people involved get almost abusive (a sure sign of loss of favor and moving into darkness!!!). I want to walk in the light - follow where the Spirit is leading and stay in balance! God show me your will, show me your way, shine your light on my path and teach me to walk more closely with you!!!!! Keep me in balance! Watch your step, mind your footing, observe your pace, listen to the small voice within, don't slip and fall! Fondly , Dee

Finding my "Path"

Six days since my last post! I never said I was perfect! How easy it is to be distracted from my intentions and direction! Yet I find on my excursions off the "planned" route, I find the most surprising treasures. These treasures include joy, intimacy, peace, comfort, revelation, clarity, guidance, provision, "open doors", solutions to questions and problems, and even changed direction for my future steps. I am learning to "let go" of judging myself too harshly and trusting in a higher power that can lead me to these treasures in ways I could not have planned, expected or even imagined. I am trusting in that power, that presence with which I am becoming more intimate, of which I am more aware. As I let go (appropriately), trust, wait and watch, I learn I am never alone and all is well! I missed connecting with you along my "way" this week so I am very committed to approaching a daily post! Dee

Why a blog?

Why have I started blogging? I was on a path of ministry including pastoral care, preaching and teaching, and exploring a call to ordained ministry, when suddenly in May 2008 many doors that had been open slammed in my face. A couple of months later, my life changed dramatically as I took over the care of my mother who nearly died. Since then my life has revolved around bringing her back to stability and coordinating her everyday care. I had to stop many of the ministry activities with which I had been involved, but over the months I have longed to return to active ministry. In June 2008, while on an intensive 10 day silent retreat, I experienced God telling me I was going to reach people where they were: in their homes, at the office, out and about. The Internet came to mind. It seemed perfect since I am disabled and often home bound. I quickly acquired a domain, but with the demands of my mother's care, I had no time to develop a website. Meanwhile, a dear friend who is now following my blog had started a blog herself and the idea started to take root in my heart. I saw my dear friend yesterday and decided to explore the idea that had been increasingly tugging at my soul. In what seemed like only a few minutes, I was blogging, to my surprise! I have lots to share and this is just the beginning. I hope this finds you well. Blessings and peace for today and always, Dee

Hello! This is Dee's Daily #1

Hello! This is Dee's Daily blog, day #1. I have been wanting to blog for some time. My life to date has been extremely challenging and also rewarding. I want to share my experiences and learnings with the world in hope that it might help others. Stay tuned!