Saturday, March 17, 2012

Losses and life changes! Happy St Patty's Day!


This is my mom on her birthday at a beautiful garden here in 2009. I took over the management of her care the previous year and she moved on to better gardens in heaven last Saturday. Her passing was difficult for me, although she had no pain. The pain was all mine in losing her a bit at a time over a few weeks. Thank God it did not happen over months or years, like many have to endure. The reason I have not posted in a while is due to my focus on her care and maintaining my own health, trying to get enough rest as I could given all the amount of urgent activities and decisions.

It helps that I have learned to rely on God. I did not have a partner or other family around to help and many of my friends have moved away to other geographical areas. My two closest friends were out of town and without phone service at their locations. But God provided wonderful people who prayed, called, texted and even appeared, at just the right moments when I needed someone to be with me, even if to hear their voice on the phone or read their text and receive their "virtual hugs". A new friend who lives out of town most of the year (a snow duck, as she calls herself), appeared and was with me most of the day my mother died, and more importantly, was with me at the moment my mother expired so I was not alone. I knew God was with me, but sometimes we need someone in the "flesh" to comfort and strengthen through our senses, and not just in the spirit or virtually "away". 

Losses are difficult. Any change is really just a loss of one thing or another. If we can practice letting go and grieving the little losses and changes in our lives, the bigger losses and changes get easier, but some are never "easy" and some are traumatic. If we can accept things we cannot plan or control (which is mostly everything), trusting an all-powerful, higher power that knows every thing we need, knows everything about every thing past, present and future; who loves us unconditionally and delights in providing all that we need and all that makes us joyful (not just happy for a time), life can be so much more full and abundant, no matter what is going on, even if we have less than we think would make us "happy". My God is like that! The more I let go, trust and believe, the more I experience the many ways God is there for me, loving me unconditionally and providing all that brings me joy, peace and fulfillment in my life no matter what is happening. Thank God!


She is in a better place!