Spinning my wheels
Written yesterday, Day 3 of 2015, I have decided to stop the annoying counting. I think it just shouts to me how soon I can “get out of balance” and slip from my commitments to myself. I pride myself on being dependable and faithful to others, but not to myself. I imagine I can do so much more in so less time than reality. I did a time budget once as part of a time management exercise to find more time in my schedule for the things I wanted to do and never quite managed, like getting enough sleep. I calculated the hours for all my activities and committed time and came up with 48 hours, which I thought was reasonable for a week, until I realized I had already divided by seven to give me a daily budget! No wonder I felt like a hamster on a wheel and my plans could not all be accomplished!
I do believe God has a reasonable plan for our lives and therefore our schedule, as it can be found in many places of scripture. I have tried so many tools, read books, and even took classes to help organize schedules and save time, spending less time per activity, etc. I have never been able to ‘catch up” with my plan or get off that wheel. I cannot remember the last vacation for the sake of vacating the daily grind, only recuperative days from illness, born out of my schedule and stress. Jesus promised His yoke was easy and His burden light if we are weary of carrying the loads put on us by ourselves and others.
When I am able to let go and turn things over to God, it seems things get done faster and sometimes get done without me doing a thing, like finding a solution without doing research on alternatives or making endless phone calls to resolve. Turning things over to God does not release me from responsibility but recognizes there is a plan and solution available beyond my knowledge or understanding of things and it requires trust in a loving God who cares about me and how the world can work better for everyone and for all creation. He designed all creation and knows the intricate details we can never gather or assimilate, no matter how complicated the computer assisted analysis we have at our disposal.
Let go and let God! It is not just a trite saying. It is a better way to be in balance. It requires changing the way we think, believe and act, taking more time to stop and let God be God in our lives and our schedules at every moment of awareness, which also needs to be kept alert and sharp and not dulled into rushing and multi-tasking, reacting to everything instead of considering our responses.