Growing Faith into a Tree of Life, Peace and Joy!

Faith takes time to grow, a lot of work, practice and patience, and protecting small levels of faith in the storms of life. But, experiencing the fruits of faith: peace, joy, serenity and trust, is well worth all the hard work and patient endurance.  It seems not that long ago, that I had very little faith. My symptoms were constant anxiety, fear, frustration, anger, depression, despair, controlling behavior and constant efforts of analyzing and developing plans and alternatives for managing my life. I sought many teachers, methods, beliefs and tools for the wisdom and labors I thought I needed for controlling and managing my life as I perceived it and wanted it to be. I had very little acceptance of anything or anyone that was not the way I had planned or expected. I certainly had no self acceptance of myself, being unlike what I wanted or thought I should be, or how others told me I should be.

Today I am really beginning to experience the fruits of my faith in a delicious and productive way! Seemingly facing more challenges than ever, I find daily many opportunities to practice my faith, something essential to grow it. Without the need to practice, when everything is going very well, just the way I like or expect, I can sink into believing I am in control and the "old" patterns start to emerge.

Yesterday I had another opportunity when walking into my kitchen for the first time for the day. While getting myself a cup of water, I found the refrigerator light off. I thought it was the bulb, but then for some reason (my higher power), I checked the freezer light and it was also off. It seemed unusually quiet, so I turned up the temperature dial and the system did not cycle on. I assumed my fridge needed repair. Ugh! Then again something told me to look around as I was praying for help, something I have learned to do right away. I noticed the microwave was dark and then that the phone light was off. Checking both, they were dead. I tried the fuse box switches but everything seemed OK. I moved the phone cord to another outlet and it turned on. It was an electric problem. Ugh! I prayed some more.

Calling a couple of friends and one of my neighbors who works in construction, I took down the names and numbers of some electricians whom I proceeded to call. Leaving messages but wanting immediate help, I got on the Internet and searched for ratings of electricians and called a couple more after my research, still praying for God's help and guidance, believing all would work out OK. One of my friends had mentioned the need for a new fuse box and while looking on line, I noticed the prices for that was in thousands! OMG! I started to panic, and then again, practiced my faith that things would get taken care of. I did not know what was wrong, as I have learned many times: that I often do not know the true reality of my situation or of the myriad of possibilities for outcomes. I have learned not to jump to conclusions or make assumptions that seem obvious to me. If I pray, I am learning God leads me to the truth of my reality. I have come to trust in God who provides all my needs and works things out for good, if only to grow my faith in the process.

One of the contractors I found on the Internet was calling me back and while on the line with him, another call came in and something told me to take the other call. My usual logic is the first call is best but it was a strong hunch, so I told the first caller I would have to call them back and took the second call. Reluctantly (because of my systematic brain and usual logic) I told the second caller to come right over. It was as if another person within me was making my decisions (my spirit!)  I needed my fridge working since I had just filled it with groceries only hours past and did not want to throw everything out, so I went ahead with the quick, seemingly irrational decision. A few minutes later, the electrician called me back and told me one of my next door neighbors who I had not called, just called him and the electrician realized it was an outside problem with my electric utility after asking me a few more questions while I checked out my oven and AC, both not working but on other fuses and electric circuits. He was honest enough not to show up and charge me the emergency call visit anyway. He told me to call him back if it turned out otherwise.

I called the utility and was told there were no other reports. I called my neighbor and asked him and another neighbor who was having a similar problem to call the utility. A few minutes later, we were advised of a construction project that had damaged some equipment causing the higher voltage power not to be working, so each of my neighbors had different symptoms, depending on their wiring, but was caused by the damage to the utility's system. A utility truck was present on a few minutes. Nine  neighbors were impacted and we all saved emergency repair call costs, getting our power back in a few hours. Yeah!!! The probability of me calling the same electrician as my next door neighbor in a city with hundreds (maybe thousands) of electricians is amazing, on top of me finding one that was honest enough not to charge me unnecessarily. Wow!

All the time, I experienced a lot of calm, peace and certainty that everything would work out despite my financial situation and busy schedule for the day. God even used the process of checking things out to help me find something in my kitchen that I was looking for and had not been able to find!  I had my moments of frustration and panic, but truly only moments, and not minutes or hours, or even days, of unrest, anxiety and unhappiness interfering with my life! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!