I love a mystery! Do you? Really?

I have always loved mysteries! Mystery stories, mystery quizzes, mystery puzzles. Anything that was missing an explanation. I loved Perry Mason, Sherlock Holmes, Columbo, who-done-it's. And figuring out how it was done: CSI, the TV series and all the spin-offs. That is the catch of many soap operas: trying to figure out what really happened, what was going to happen, to whom and when. Who shot President Kennedy? Was there really a Bermuda Triangle? How do caterpillars become butterflies? All mysteries. Solving them can be fun, satisfying and certainly brain challenging. Hence the popularity of the TV series LOST. There was a year the series got too confusing and people stopped watching. They could not figure enough out.

The biggest mystery of all: GOD. Is there a God? Who is God? Where is God? What is God doing? What is God going to do? Only one problem. God is unfathomable. We cannot figure that out and sometimes, that makes us angry or at least frustrated and confused. We really do not like mysteries we cannot solve or are not revealed to us satisfactorily. The secret to keeping us hooked is just enough information to keep us thinking we are going to get the answers we think we want. But with God, often there are no answers. And some of the answers are not what we want to hear.

The real secret, that brings peace and joy, is we do not have to figure it out! We just have to come to believe and accept what is out of our control, doing what we can to change things for the better. But that is not easy for most of us. We want to understand. We want to see, and feel, and know the answers. And we want the answers to satisfy our sense of right and wrong, and justice and fairness. If we could see the whole picture, from beginning to end, with all the multitude of players and histories; if we could possibly even begin to comprehend all of what is or ever has been in every moment of every things' existence until the end of time, we might just come to understand with satisfaction and compassion. But that is impossible. Only God can know all that is for all time for all things and "figure it out".

So the mystery remains a mystery. But when we accept what is seen and known as part of a much bigger picture and enjoy the parts that are there for us to enjoy every moment, enduring what is painful when it is, even if seemingly unbearable, we can grow to an awareness of a God who loves us unconditionally, leading us along the best path possible, providing everything we need along the way, bringing good things out of painful things, and comforting and healing the pains we have to endure. And, it gets easier. We grow more peaceful, more thankful, more patient, more loving, more strong. We learn about ourselves, and others and about God. We do what we can to make things better for everyone. And we can give up trying to solve the mystery and begin to find gratitude and awe in the mystery that enfolds us with love, compassion, provision, mercy, wisdom and grace in unbelievable ways, beyond our imagination or ability to find the answers in any way that makes sense or gives timely satisfaction.

Walking the love walk in storms!

Things get tough long enough and I can get short-tempered! I am getting lots of opportunities to learn to act in love even when life is really difficult with "storms" and I am having to deal with aggravating situations! I have been living with stress for much of my life. Originally it came from family members, but I learned to live in stress and actually thrived in it for a while! I was so good with stress I got promoted and quickly rose to the top. Ultimately, my body broke down, being helped by a virus just being discovered this past year. I ended up being disabled which comes with its own stress, physically and financially. Over the years, I learned to live with stress a different way -- learning boundaries, balance and having a close relationship with God. It really has turned out to be a gift to me and many others on my path. Even with boundaries, balance and God, things can get really difficult! I have been dealing with a new difficult situation for 18 months, the ongoing care of an elderly parent. I have cut out almost everything else in order to "manage" my stress. But now I'm finding there are lots of ways of getting added stress besides too many activities. When too many things go wrong, and mistakes are made, it adds stress. When I feel my frustration rise, I talk to God, announcing my limits, as if God did not know. I was feeling I just couldn't take it anymore. Two days without blogging and no end in sight to more difficulties. I prayed (a lot) last night. I woke up and turned on my favorite show, Joyce Meyers, while doing my morning stretches. She was talking about walking in love. As I listened my heart softened and I felt that inner guidance: "this message is for you". I listened a little more closely. She said when things get difficult, it is no reason to step out of our love walk. It is an opportunity to grow a little more into the person we want to be, the person God created us to be. It is a way to learn how to have more joy and peace in our lives. Oh, well! I realized she was right on. I had been dealing with several other parties not doing things right: pharmacists, insurance representatives, assisted living managers, transport coordinators, doctor's office staff, website services - the list goes on. I was getting aggravated by the lack of performance and repeated mistakes and my voice reflected it more each day. I listened to Joyce and realized I did not want to respond to anyone out of my anger, even if a subtle tone of anger in my voice or a slightly sarcastic remark. I learned a long time ago that things go much better without anger and that everyone is trying to do their best with their situation. Anyway, onward and upward. I dealt with 3 more such situations today and I remembered to walk in love! It made me feel better. I was more happy. I had more peace. I know it helped each of the situations get resolved and God was smiling!! Spread some love today, even if the "weather" gets stormy! That is when people need it the most, and that includes you! Love, Dee

Acceptance is the Key - continued

Acceptance is a very large topic! At a meeting yesterday, both readings selected for the day were on acceptance, so I thought I would continue from my last post. When I was a child, acceptance was not a choice. I had to accept everything, because I had no power and actually was in danger if I did not accept things as they were. As I got older, I learned ways to react without acceptance: arguing, getting angry or upset, rejection, judgement, manipulation, despair, isolation, etc. I became independent and "in control" of my life, or so I thought! Twenty+ years ago I became disabled. Unable to work, I lost my career. Eventually, I lost my marriage and my savings and I accumulated much medical expense related debt. I started on a journey of exploring the meaning of my life and its relationship to my belief in God. That journey has taken me a lot of places, and I have learned acceptance at many levels, and still learning. Seven years ago, I nearly died (for the second time). I had learned to accept my circumstances so I was not afraid. Accepting other people's behavior, especially when hurtful, was much harder. But in doing so, my life became much more enjoyable, despite any difficult people or circumstances. I learned to set boundaries when necessary to protect myself and that when I let go of others' behaviors, a lot of stress goes away and I can focus on more positive things if I choose. Accepting myself has been the most difficult task because awareness of not accepting myself is so unconscious but integral to my happiness and peace. God grant me acceptance of myself in all my ways and beings. Love, Dee