The Lord is my shepherd!

The Lord is my Shepherd” Part 1

Day 2 of 2015, I am keeping my commitment to write.  I write best when not so tired, so I need to add a note to my blog postings that not all daily journal entries will be posted on my blog. I am not yet in a rythym of writing daily and, as I am learning with all goals, I need to schedule the time to do things I want to accomplish, because other distractions and activities that seem more important otherwise take priority. As a result, I will never get to those seemingly less important projects that come from our God-given visions of life purposes, but instead, I will focus on my own agendas and the perceived agendas of the world and people around us who seem to want or think something else is preferred or the answer. 

I am finding what I sometimes think are real and absolute threats or demands, are really distractions from my path and expectations of myself, a person or organization or ‘rule’ I perceive cannot be missed or broken,  otherwise causing loss or rejection, or ultimate abandonment. This is an illusion from surrounding myself with wrong beliefs and perceptions based on those beliefs. I ignore any evidence to the contrary. If I do not trust other beliefs, I cannot experience the truth working in my life.

These past few years my health problems have finally convinced me that other than God, I am the only one responsible for taking care of me and following the path God tries to show me.  I am also learning that God is always faithful and never lets us down. If I follow the guidance in my spirit as led by God, He provides all I need and keeps my path clearer from obstacles and more direct to His destinations, including meeting the worldly demands that cannot be ignored. God is like a good shepherd.

In the end, when I am down and out and all my chips run out, and I am not able to respond to others’ demands and expectations, I am left seemingly alone to fend for myself. Thank God He is always there to pick up the pieces and provide whatever is needed, even if I suffer some serious loss or severe pain as a result.  My losses are never the fault of others but my own errors in not discerning my path as directed by God and not developing boundaries to keep me on that path, a kind of fence to keep me from wandering off, like a lamb who eats their way off a cliff. That is why lambs need shepherds to keep them on the path. The Lord is my good shepherd if I trust in Him and follow. Stay tuned for more.

I love a mystery! Do you? Really?

I have always loved mysteries! Mystery stories, mystery quizzes, mystery puzzles. Anything that was missing an explanation. I loved Perry Mason, Sherlock Holmes, Columbo, who-done-it's. And figuring out how it was done: CSI, the TV series and all the spin-offs. That is the catch of many soap operas: trying to figure out what really happened, what was going to happen, to whom and when. Who shot President Kennedy? Was there really a Bermuda Triangle? How do caterpillars become butterflies? All mysteries. Solving them can be fun, satisfying and certainly brain challenging. Hence the popularity of the TV series LOST. There was a year the series got too confusing and people stopped watching. They could not figure enough out.

The biggest mystery of all: GOD. Is there a God? Who is God? Where is God? What is God doing? What is God going to do? Only one problem. God is unfathomable. We cannot figure that out and sometimes, that makes us angry or at least frustrated and confused. We really do not like mysteries we cannot solve or are not revealed to us satisfactorily. The secret to keeping us hooked is just enough information to keep us thinking we are going to get the answers we think we want. But with God, often there are no answers. And some of the answers are not what we want to hear.

The real secret, that brings peace and joy, is we do not have to figure it out! We just have to come to believe and accept what is out of our control, doing what we can to change things for the better. But that is not easy for most of us. We want to understand. We want to see, and feel, and know the answers. And we want the answers to satisfy our sense of right and wrong, and justice and fairness. If we could see the whole picture, from beginning to end, with all the multitude of players and histories; if we could possibly even begin to comprehend all of what is or ever has been in every moment of every things' existence until the end of time, we might just come to understand with satisfaction and compassion. But that is impossible. Only God can know all that is for all time for all things and "figure it out".

So the mystery remains a mystery. But when we accept what is seen and known as part of a much bigger picture and enjoy the parts that are there for us to enjoy every moment, enduring what is painful when it is, even if seemingly unbearable, we can grow to an awareness of a God who loves us unconditionally, leading us along the best path possible, providing everything we need along the way, bringing good things out of painful things, and comforting and healing the pains we have to endure. And, it gets easier. We grow more peaceful, more thankful, more patient, more loving, more strong. We learn about ourselves, and others and about God. We do what we can to make things better for everyone. And we can give up trying to solve the mystery and begin to find gratitude and awe in the mystery that enfolds us with love, compassion, provision, mercy, wisdom and grace in unbelievable ways, beyond our imagination or ability to find the answers in any way that makes sense or gives timely satisfaction.

Inspiring an attitude of gratitude! Live joyfully!

I dare you to watch this and not be aware of lots of reasons to be thankful!! An inspiring video on how we can be happy and live joyfully, no matter the circumstances. There are always things to be thankful and joyful about in our lives! A reminder when we feel sad or sorry for ourselves is to watch this or think about the many people suffering or managing with so much less than we have. I am so thankful for good friends, great weather, breathing, the ability to walk and see the beauty around me, the ability to listen and hear birds singing and music playing whenever I want!! How great is that!! When I am sad, when I am experiencing a loss or painful circumstances, I let myself feel the pain and sadness and remind myself of all the good things, giving thanks to God! Rejoice always! And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds! (Philippians 4:6-8.) Not only thinking gratitude, but saying out loud how thankful I am, makes my life better and better every day and brings to my awareness more and more the many gifts given to me every day of my life, no matter what else is going on!!!

Balancing Act with a Net!

Well, I slipped again! Too busy to post to my blog yesterday! I think I am learning to follow the Spirit more closely. I had a small meltdown yesterday - too much to do and not enough time to do it! I stopped and prayed for wisdom. I received a call from my mom that she did not want to go for her therapy. She needed it. I did not want to cancel, but had the thought it would give me extra time. This morning I got a call. The therapist was too sick to see my mom. The appointment was cancelled. Wow! Just got a few hours! Got stuff done! It seemed an answer to prayer, but in an unusual way. Can I just believe God has me covered? So I will not fall too far! A net is good, but a pillow is preferable! As I proceed to keep this balancing act, balancing one priority with another, weighing one perceived need in comparison to another, can I pray, relax, let go and see what becomes more clear? Praying for wisdom and clarity each moment is a must! Spending quiet time with God and myself is essential! Being open to possibilities and relaxing my "Must do" 's is a challenge! May God grant you wisdom, clarity, peace and balance! Fondly, Dee

Adieu's,goodbye's and farewells--

Today I am thinking about the people who leave our lives as someone dear to me is getting ready to leave our community. I have been with this person in various activities every week for over twenty years. Departures are sad, especially when we have been close to someone, or a person has played a big part in our lives for a long time. It is like a part of you is going away with them. Even a year past can feel like that. I am feeling a bit nostalgic about 2009, even though I was glad to see it go because it brought me much pain and difficulty. But I have grown more this year than I have in many before. I am not glad to see this person go! When we intersect with each other in intimate relationships, where we share ourselves authentically and openly, we risk ourselves and our hearts. It is like combining ingredients in a casserole. Sometimes things get messy, sometimes one ingredient enhances another, sometimes an ingredient overwhelms to the point of a bad taste, or can even give a stomach ache. Often it is in the preparation that things go well. I usually learn what goes well with what and in what quantity. Often when adding new ingredients, I find an even better recipe I can enjoy and pass on to others! That recipe is me! This person has contributed to my growth in many ways and enhanced my life through their presence and actions in it. The road has not always been easy, but ultimately God uses everything for our good, for our growth or for another's, to point out our character flaws through our reactions to each other, giving us a chance to observe and consider alternate choices when things do not feel right or good or are painful. It gives us opportunities to grow by learning to do things better for ourselves, our joy, our peace and for others. I bid adieu for today and mazel tov for your journey! Love, Dee

Moving on --- onwards & upwards!

This is a picture of the Great Wall of China from the Kamuka Worldwide travel website. Sometimes my life seems like the view in this picture: striving on an upward climb towards a higher place, a place with more spectacular views, a place where I can see more of what lies ahead and a different perspective of where I have already been. I see people who seem to be ahead of me on the path and long for their location or just some information from their viewpoint. I look behind and see others and wonder what they are thinking of where I am. Do they need my help to get where I am? Are they catching up with me and will overtake my progress, getting ahead of me? Am I proceeding faster than they? Can I enjoy the view from where I am? I especially love the fellow traveler alongside while sharing our views and helping each other see things differently, or things we may have missed along the way, or like an old allegory of life, sharing each of our parts of perception to more fully perceive and better understand the truth of the entire reality! The New Year, when time seems to stop for a moment before beginning again, is an opportunity to feel as if I have somehow "finished" a significant segment of my journey, stopping to reflect, celebrate and enjoy, giving me the strength, new resolve, renewed energy and exciting hope for the journey ahead. God bless your journey this new decade with joy and peace, and with fellow travelers at your side along the way that you can share, enjoy and to help you more fully perceive and better understand the paths of your life! Love, Dee

Acceptance is the Key!!

What are you willing to accept? In any moment, whatever is cannot be changed in that moment. When I react immediately in any way but acceptance, I lose the opportunity to be in the moment and choose life as it presents itself that moment. Only then can I find true joy, peace and the freedom of finding and choosing what is available and what can be changed. Only then I can find my self, the true self that I am, and discover the true self of anyone else. Only then can I explore and experience my true feelings and where they might be coming from. Only then can I find the still small voice of God that guides me in every moment. If in danger or in harm's way, only by being calm and in the moment can we truly respond in a way that might save a life, our own or that of another. Take the key of acceptance and unlock your doors! God grant me the serenity to accept.... Dee

Keeping the Faith!!!

What is faith, really? For me faith is a gift, but to keep it sometimes takes hard work. Faith is defined as confidence or trust in a person or thing; belief that is not based on proof. That is what makes it so difficult sometimes! Without proof, how can we believe? Especially when things are not as we would expect if what we believe is true. Faith becomes difficult when I am believing in something that I cannot see, feel, sense or understand according to my own knowledge and experience. When circumstances of my life or of others become painful or hard to accept, believing and trusting in a higher power that is good, loving, and providing all that we need, brings light, comfort and warmth to my heart, spirit and mind. It helps me to see the possibilities of help and what I or others can do in seemingly hopeless situations. It helps me find joy and gratitude for what I remember and sense that is good, laying aside and turning over to my higher power that which seems not good, hoping for a better outcome than I can imagine. The more I can do this, the more I see and experience life on life's terms and find peace that ultimately all is well and can be well, no matter what! And that is the gift! And when I am in peace and gratitude about my life and the lives of others, I am able to wait, seek and find my way. Keep the faith!! Dee

Finding my "Path"

Six days since my last post! I never said I was perfect! How easy it is to be distracted from my intentions and direction! Yet I find on my excursions off the "planned" route, I find the most surprising treasures. These treasures include joy, intimacy, peace, comfort, revelation, clarity, guidance, provision, "open doors", solutions to questions and problems, and even changed direction for my future steps. I am learning to "let go" of judging myself too harshly and trusting in a higher power that can lead me to these treasures in ways I could not have planned, expected or even imagined. I am trusting in that power, that presence with which I am becoming more intimate, of which I am more aware. As I let go (appropriately), trust, wait and watch, I learn I am never alone and all is well! I missed connecting with you along my "way" this week so I am very committed to approaching a daily post! Dee

The Choice: Fear or Faith

What to do about fear? I grew up in a household of fear, with abuse and even violence in my extended family, and at home every day. By adolescence it became a normal state of being. I chose other relationships like my childhood ones without even realizing it. Fear causes stress and stress leads to dis-ease: in mind, heart, body and spirit. Today's world is full of messages of fear in media, advertising, news, movies and music. We can hear it in everyday conversations around us and with us. Fear causes an adrenalin reaction and can be addictive, hence the love of horror movies. Ultimately fear takes joy out of life and can hasten death. I nearly died and fear was a big part. I am finding a better WAY that leads to serenity, peace, joy and fulfillment. That WAY is faith. But faith is not easy. It takes work and action. Faith is trusting in life, in ourselves, in something greater than ourselves, especially when we find we cannot handle it, alone or otherwise. It is coming to believe that life is ultimately good and there is meaning to suffering, hardship and loss. It is coming to believe that all is well and good no matter what our experience at the moment. I am coming to believe all of that. But not without faith in God. Stay tuned! Peace be with you. Dee