Saturday, December 12, 2009

Acceptance is the Key - continued



Acceptance is a very large topic! At a meeting yesterday, both readings selected for the day were on acceptance, so I thought I would continue from my last post. When I was a child, acceptance was not a choice. I had to accept everything, because I had no power and actually was in danger if I did not accept things as they were. As I got older, I learned ways to react without acceptance: arguing, getting angry or upset, rejection, judgement, manipulation, despair, isolation, etc. I became independent and "in control" of my life, or so I thought! Twenty+ years ago I became disabled. Unable to work, I lost my career. Eventually, I lost my marriage and my savings and I accumulated much medical expense related debt. I started on a journey of exploring the meaning of my life and its relationship to my belief in God. That journey has taken me a lot of places, and I have learned acceptance at many levels, and still learning. Seven years ago, I nearly died (for the second time). I had learned to accept my circumstances so I was not afraid. Accepting other people's behavior, especially when hurtful, was much harder. But in doing so, my life became much more enjoyable, despite any difficult people or circumstances. I learned to set boundaries when necessary to protect myself and that when I let go of others' behaviors, a lot of stress goes away and I can focus on more positive things if I choose. Accepting myself has been the most difficult task because awareness of not accepting myself is so unconscious but integral to my happiness and peace. God grant me acceptance of myself in all my ways and beings. Love, Dee

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